DANGER! For a sorority #3

Hello girls! I’ve heard some rumors about young ladies in this particular house sniffing their nail-polish remover. I have been told that it gives you a buzz and a light dizzy feeling, as if you were taking a real drug. This is extremely concerning since: One: It’s extremely dangerous. Two: You’re in college and should be smart enough to realize how stupid this idea is. And Three: Your old enough that you can at least obtain a substance that is a bit higher in class.

We understand that you enjoy it and that this high is readily available. Yet, that is no excuse to do it and there is no way we can condone you using these products in this way. You need those materials for your nails and not to melt your brain. Don’t you realize that doing this can kill you? Acetone is toxic and one of the main ingredients in nail-polish remover, this chemical can kill you. It is also a chemical found in cigarettes and can cause cancer. And I doubt any of you young ladies would appreciate having a mastectomy.

One of the most troubling problems with this is your intelligence level. Some of the dangers of acetone are covered in sophomore health, during high school, when you are studying the dangers of cigarettes. The fact that none of you knew this, or that you all decided to disregard the information about acetone is an unwise choice. And if we find that any of you are sniffing this chemical, then we have to expel you partially because you obviously have the IQ of a toad. In fact if this habit continues, you may end up looking like one.

My last reason clearly explains itself, but I will elucidate for your apparently below average minds. You girls are old enough that you should have: One: Higher standards and standing than to sniff nail-polish remover. Two: At least have better connections, by now, to obtain higher quality and classier substances (not that we are promoting it, but it’s really just pathetic). And Three: Have better sense and tactfulness than let us find out about your recklessness.

So, the moral of the story, girls, is that sniffing nail-polish remover is a dangerous, brainless and pathetic decission. You will be expelled if we find out that you have done anything of the sort and if this continues we may have to ban the possession of nail-polish remover all together. Have a wonderful day, and please keep out of the chemicals.